


iAm Broken

by broadwayXaddict



Category: iCarly
Genre: Drama, Hurt-Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-29
Updated: 2009-07-19
Packaged: 2013-06-26 10:42:28
Rating: T
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,053
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4431703/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1590977/broadwayXaddict
Summary: Sam finally snaps. She is sick of being second best in Freddie's life. Something happens to make Sam and Freddie rethink everything. Drama. A few years into the future fic. Sorry for not properly rating it! Now listed as TEEN.





	1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own iCarly silly! If I did I wouldn't be sitting in my room at 3:36AM writing Fan Fiction. I would be rolling in money and laughing my pretty little head off. :**

**P.S. Sam's thoughtsitalics**

It had been boiling inside Sam over for months now. (**A/N. Uhmm..why is this line here? Who knows!) **

It had been boiling inside Sam over for months now. That feeling of resentment, anger, and sadness whenever she saw him drooling over her. Why couldn't Freddie just realize that Carly would _**NEVER**_ feel the same about him? Sam did though. She loved that little dweeb, but he was too blind to see. Freddie only had eyes for Carly. He fawned over her and practically worshipped the ground she walked on. Sam was used to that though. Most guys did that. Sam was just Carly's bully of a best friend. She was used to being second best-with guys, grades, looks, everything. Though deep inside she was hurt and vulnerable, she never let anyone see it. Sam Puckett was not going to let anyone ever think she was weak.

One day it was just too much. The feelings deep within her bubbled over and she couldn't contain them any longer. After iCarly, they were all hanging around the Shay apartment, and Freddie had been caught ogling Carly again.

"Hey Freddork! Carly will NEVER love you! What will it take to get that through your thick head you stupid geek?!" Sam screamed across the room

Carly and Freddie both turned and looked at her with identical looks of shock of their face. Sam's heart ached when she saw the hurt look in Freddie's big chocolate colored eyes.

_God. I love his eyes. So warm and inviting. Even if they only see me when we fight. _

"Well Sam, at least I've found love! You, unlike me, never will! Not that it matters because no one would ever love you!" Freddie retorted

Sam felt her heart break. In one second he has shattered her heart into a thousand tiny pieces, and he didn't even know. Her eyes filled with tears and she couldn't contain her feelings anymore. Words tumbled out of her mouth like water, and she couldn't stop it.

"You're wrong. You are so wrong. I have found love. You're just too blind to see anything except Carly. I'm just her sidekick to you, an annoyance, a bully, just a girl who gets in the way of you and your "true love"! Well I have news for you Fredward Benson!! She will never ever love you, but I always have!" Sam's eyes widened, tears now streaming down her face, and she stared down at her Converse.

"and I always will…" she whispered. More to herself than to him.

_Damn. Did I really just say all that out loud?  
_

The room was silent.

"Sam." Freddie touched her arm, but she jerked it away.

"No Freddie. I will not be second best to Carly again. Just leave me alone. Please."

And with that Sam walked away. Taking her broken heart with her.

**Woo! My first story is finished!! What'd you guys think?? I actually like this one. I think I will be writing more soon. It all depends on what you think! So click that button right down there and review! **

**Mucho amor! broadwayXaddict  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone for the GREAT reviews! It really made me want to write more! I'm going to continue with iAm Broken so here you go!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly. **

Sam burst out the doors of Bushwell Plaza with tears streaming down her face. She looked up at the dark sky as the rain poured over her, mixing with her tears. It was like the weather was reflecting all the pain she felt. She had to get away. She started running. The rain increased, and her vision got hazy. She couldn't see where she was going, but Sam kept running. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her breath was coming out in sharp, short bursts. She felt weak, but pushed herself further. She just had to get away from Freddie. She couldn't bear to face him after what had happened in the iCarly studio. Finally Sam just couldn't run any further. She collapsed to the ground and broke down in tears. Lightning flashed across the sky and thunder shook the ground beneath her.

"Sam! Sam!" She heard a familiar voice far off in the distance. Was that…Freddie? She glanced up, but instead of seeing Freddie, she saw two bright lights. They were coming towards her faster and faster.

"Sam!" the voice came again, "Sam! Get out the way! Please! Run!"

She was frozen with fear, like a deer in headlights. Unfortunately for Sam that's exactly what those two bright lights were. She saw the car getting closer and closer, and suddenly she was flying through the air. It was like the whole world was going in slow-motion. She could feel something break as she plummeted to the ground. She could hear the screams and sobs, though they sounded far away and faint. The last thing she saw was Freddie's face looming over hers. His eyes were full of concern. Tears were falling from his eyes and splashing onto her face. His lips were moving, but she couldn't understand what he was saying. Then everything went black.

**Intense huh? I will be updating soon. I have it all planned out. I just wanted to give you all a taste of how the story is going. Review please! And keep reading! Don't you want to know what happens next? **

**-broadwayXaddict- **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone for the reviews! Flashback is in italics.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned iCarly I wouldn't be writing about at 12:54 AM in a small town in GA. (I get my best ideas at night)**

Freddie watched, frozen with horror as Sam's body flew into air. She crashed down to the ground. His whole world crashed with her. He couldn't imagine life without Sam. She was his best friend, his partner in crime, his first real love. Memories flooded his brain and he remembered all the times he had with Sam. All their silly bets and fights seemed pointless now. He thought of all the times he had hurt Sam. The time he called her just Carly's sidekick, and every time he swooned over Carly it was hurting Sam. Little did she know that his crush on Carly was only a cover. He never had the guts to tell her how she really felt. When she finally did what did he do? Nothing.

He ran as hard as he could towards her. Tears were blocking his vision as he pushed through the crowd that had formed around her. She was splayed on the ground and one of her legs was bent at a painful angle. He knew it must be broken. As he drew closer he could see a small pool of blood coming from her head. Her long, curly hair was wet with it. He knelt down beside her and stared into her blue eyes. He could see the usually spark behind it slowly begin to fade. His tears splashed onto her face. The pool grew, and soon Freddie was kneeling in Sam's blood. He could see her starting to loose consciousness.

"Please Sam, please, please, don't let go. Sam, I'm so sorry." Her eyes fluttered closed. "I'm sorry Sam, I'm sorry, please don't leave me." Freddie kept repeating those words and gently rocking Sam in his arms. The sound of a siren exploded through the silence. The paramedics came and took Sam out of Freddie's arms and onto the stretcher. He stayed in the same spot, watching them take his Sam away from him. Tears had dried on his cheeks, and his heart felt heavy as the ambulance whisked around the corner. Carly finally had to come pull Freddie off the street and bring him to his apartment.

* * *

A few days later they were allowed to visit Sam in the hospital. She had a broken leg, bruises all over her arms and legs and was in a coma. The doctor said it was a miracle she had even survived the accident. Carly and Freddie entered Sam's room and found her hooked up to machines. The site of her looking so weak and vulnerable broke Freddie's heart. They sat on either side of her and just watched her in silence. The realization and guilt had crashed over Freddie late last night. If he had just said something, grabbed her, held her, anything, she wouldn't have run into the street and wouldn't be lying unconscious on a hospital bed. Why couldn't he just admit his feelings for Sam? It was too late now. He was slowly losing her.

* * *

_Carly had cornered him one day after iCarly. _

"_When are you going to stop being so stupid?" Freddie gave her a quizzical glare._

"_We all know you're in love with Sam. When are you going to admit it? You're just hurting yourself…and I know you're hurting Sam." Freddie's heart ached. He never wanted to hurt Sam. She was everything to him, but he wouldn't admit it. She would never feel the same way about a tech geek like him. _

"_I don't like her, Carly!" he lied through his teeth. "And she definitely doesn't like me. Me and Sam will never be anything more than friends... end of story. That's it. That's all we'll ever be." _

"_Freddie, we both know that's not true. You're both in love. I see the way you guys look at each other, and how you always stand so close to each other. I see your secret smiles and longing glances at her. She does the same to you. She's different when you're around. She's happier. You guys fight and deny to cover it up. Why bother covering it anymore? It's obvious. Just admit it."_

* * *

But he hadn't. He had chickened out. And now he might never get the chance.

Freddie turned away so Carly wouldn't see him crying. Spencer eventually came in and took Carly back home, but Freddie stayed. He gently took one of her hands in his and rubbed his thumb across her soft skin. She looked so peaceful. It would have looked like she was sleeping without the steady beeping of the heart monitor and various tubes connected to her.

"Sam, please come back. I need you."

**It's getting dramatic ain't it? It will continue. Keep reading and reviewing! I'll love you for it. :)**

**broadwayXaddict**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Pfft. If I owned iCarly Sam and Freddie would kiss already!!**

A month had passed since the accident. Every day Freddie visited Sam. The room was filled with flowers and balloons he had brought her. Every day he sat by her side. Sometimes he would talk to her, but the majority of the time he would sit in silence and watch her. He felt like the accident was his fault. The guilt was like a weight always on his shoulders. It affected his entire person. All he did was go to school and visit Sam. Freddie and Carly had barely spoken since the accident. iCarly was cancelled until further notice. It was like the whole world had come crashing down with Sam's body. Freddie could never forgive himself if Sam didn't...No. She had to wake up.

Her leg was still in cast, but the bruises on her arms and face had faded. She looked peaceful, laying there on the hospital bed. Freddie glanced over to the heart monitor beside Sam. That was what kept him sane. The steady beeping was like music to his ears. That beep meant Sam was still alive, and as long as that keep going, Freddie could keep going. He pondered what he would do without the feisty blonde in his life.

_I'd probably be in a lot less pain that's for sure. I'd also be bored out of my mind! All those crazy bets, silly arguments, and crazy situations she got me into really were fun. Even if I didn't show it. _

Freddie watched Sam's chest slowly rise and fall. He smiled to himself. She looked beautiful, even laying on a bed in a hospital gown, with wires and tubes connected to her. He took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb back and forth across her smooth skin. Suddenly a flood of memories came to him.

* * *

"_I also brought you juice and a bagel!" Freddie held the tray out to Carly, complete with a yellow carnation. The doors burst open and they turned to see none other than Sam Puckett walking through the doors. _

"_Heey, you invited the doof!" She never passed up a chance to make fun of Freddie._

"_Sam." Carly said sternly. ._

"_Aw man! I didn't know THAT was gonna be here!" Freddie whined. _

"_She. I'm a 'she' Freddie, as in GIRL." Sam countered angrily. _

"_Barely." He retorted under his breath. _

"_OooooOO." Sam mocked. _

"_You just keep your hands off my AV equipment!" He pointed an accusing finger at her._

"_You mean I can't play with the white balance on your superdy duperty camcorder?" Sam smirked. _

"_Ah Sure! Every body jokes about the white balance 'til the skin tones go magenta!_

_Sam stepped forward so she was a few inches from Freddie's face.  
_

"_Carly will never love you." she stated simply.  
_

"_That's it! I'm taking my stuff and I'm going home!" he turned to pick up his camera and AV equipment, but Carly stopped him.  
_

"_Please stay." Carly knew he would give in to her every whim when she asked and used her signature puppy dog pout. Silly boy. _

"_Ok." Freddie smiled and Carly and glared at Sam._

* * *

_Freddie sank to the ground in tears. His mother had just called the school to tell him the bad news. His father had been killed on his way to work this morning. A truck drove through a red light and slammed into his father's car, killing them both instantly._

"_Freddie?" _

_He looked up to see none other than Sam Puckett standing in front of him. He wasn't surprised to see she had skipped class; however he WAS surprised to see her big blue eyes filled with concern for him. She sat down on the ground beside him and put her arm around his shoulder. Freddie felt slightly better feeling her warmth next to him._

"_I heard about your dad. I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. You can talk to me if you need to." He just nodded. _

_They sat in silence for a while, tears silently pouring down Freddie's cheeks and Sam rubbing his arm and telling him that everything would be ok. Freddie was really thankful he had Sam as a friend. She knew when to be serious, and she knew when to have fun. The bell rang for the end of school. Sam helped Freddie to his feet. _

"_Thank you Sam, for everything. You're a good friend." She replied by simply pulling him into a tight hug. "No problem Freddie."_

* * *

One special memory came to his mind.

_"Yeah, Sam's a great kisser...and more than that, if you know what I mean." Jonah smirked and received a round of high fives from the group of guys surrounding him. _

_Freddie glared at him with disgust. He knew for a fact that Sam hadn't done anything with that nub. _

_"Whatsa matter Fredd-o? Mad that I'm talking about your little girlfriend?" Jonah was now right in Freddie's face. _

_"Just shut up Jonah. And she's not my girlfriend." Freddie growled. His fists curled at his side, and he stood up taller to match Jonah's height.  
_

_"Why don't you make me?" he smirked. "Everyone knows you have a crush on Sam, dude, it's so obvious. Too bad I've already been there...and done that."_

_That was the last straw. Freddie wasn't going to let him talk about his Sam that way. He swung and his fist made contact with Jonah's face._

_Freddie looked at his fist to see it covered in blood. He had broken Jonah's nose._

_"FREDDIE BENSON!!" Miss. Briggs screamed when she saw the scene unfolding before her._

_"Yeah. I know where the principal's office is." He left the room with the sound of applause and cheering ringing in his ears.  
_

_He had detention that afternoon, but it was definitely worth it. _

* * *

Freddie was jerked out his thoughts by a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. Something was wrong. He could feel it. He looked up at the heart monitor. The steady beeping had stopped.

A deadly silence filled the room.

**A/N: Dramatic eh? **

**Hey everyone!! Sorry it's been forever and a day since I've updated! High School took over my life pretty much. I'll try to keep updating at a normal rate. Review por favor!! Please! I want to know how I'm doing.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Well HOLA again oh world of fanfiction!! Ohemgee, it's been such a long time! I'm SOOOO sorry! I appreciate all the lovely reviews! Really, they make me very, very happy so THANK YOU! I love all the nice comments and ideas I'm getting on this, and all my other stories. **

**I will try to keep updating more regularly. I've taken to writing in the wee hours of the morn' again. It is now 12:12. Once again I'm sorry for not updating for ages! My crazy teachers insist on assigning draining homework, like essays. Really, it's something that could have been said in 2 sentences stretched out onto 5 pages! Oy vey! I hope you have all been well and not been waiting on the story for too long.**

**Well, I'll stop writing now so enjoy!**

**Please review! Everything is welcome [even flames? I'm not quite sure what that is...sounds mean? I'm still new to fanfiction, sorry!]  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, silly gooses.  
**

_Freddie was jerked out his thoughts by a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. Something was wrong. He could feel it. He looked up at the heart monitor. The steady beeping had stopped._

_A deadly silence filled the room.

* * *

  
_

Freddie's large caramel-colored eyes widened in horror as he stared at the heart monitor across the room. It had flat lined. That terrible, menacing horizontal line spelled doom for Sam, and Freddie it seemed as well.

_No, no, no! This couldn't be happening! Not to Sam! I still have so much I need to tell her! I've got to get help, please, someone help…_

Freddie searched around the hospital ward looking for a paramedic, anyone who could save Sam. He tried to call out, but his voiced seemed to have stopped working. Freddie looked back at Sam. She hadn't revived. Any longer and she would be dead. He felt faint. Suddenly, as though God had heard his unspoken prayers a crowd of doctors and nurses rushed into the room. The last thing Freddie saw before he blacked out was Sam's beautiful, curly blonde hair that was lost in sight as the doctors surrounded her.

"Freddie! Freddie!"

He heard panicked voices and felt someone slap his cheek, hard. His eyes opened slowly and Carly and Spencer Shay came swimming into view. He shot up seeing the look of panic and sadness in their eyes, but soon felt light headed and had to lie down again.

"W-where's Sam? What's happening to her? Is she alright? I've got to see her Carly! I-I-I've just got to!"

Freddie grabbed Carly's wrist and pulled her down to her level to prove his desperate point. Her blue eyes, swimming with tears, stared back at his as she shook her head sadly.

"Calm down Freddie, please. Sam is…" Her voice broke. "She's in emergency surgery right now. It seems the car accident severely damaged her brain and spine. She has a lot of trauma. The…the doctors aren't sure…how she even survived…."

Carly turned away from Freddie with silent tears streaming down her face. Spencer put a brotherly arm around her and she sobbed into his shoulder. Freddie sat on the ground dumbstruck. How could this be happening? Death was something Freddie has encountered before, his father's death still stuck in his mind every day, but it had never affected someone who was so young, so full of life as Sam Puckett. She had finally pulled herself together sophomore year and was getting good grades, staying out of trouble, and excelling at track and field. Their senior year as Ridgeway High was supposed to be the time of their lives...nothing like this. Freddie had so many regrets. He had never told Sam how he really felt, even after all these years. He couldn't bear it if the last thing Sam remembered about him was him ogling Carly and ignoring her. It was all just a cover…such a stupid thing to do. It only made Sam angrier at him, but he just couldn't man-up enough to tell Sam he liked her. He was too afraid of what she might say.

_I was so young…so naïve, and so stupid…._

_

* * *

  
_

Freddie, Carly, and Spencer waited in the ER lobby for hours and hours. None of them could bear to leave without knowing what Sam's state was. Carly fell asleep on Spencer's shoulder at about midnight, but Freddie stayed awake. He looked up to the Heavens, folded his hands and prayed.

_Dear God, I know it's been awhile since I've talked to last…_

Freddie thought back to the last time he has been to Church. It was several years ago, just before his father's death. After the accident he lost all faith, wondering how Almighty God could let something so terrible happen to his father, his only strong figure in his life. Freddie never returned to Church again, despite his mother's pleads and tears.

_I want to apologize for that. I understand now that all things happen for a reason, part of your mighty plan that I can never hope to understand. Please Lord, help Sam through this. She's really a good person, and doesn't deserve a death like this. Please forgive me as well…I feel as if this whole situation is my fault. If only I hadn't ignored her and brought her to her breaking point, maybe she'd still be here, sitting beside me eating ham and teasing me. I would never about that or anything else ever again if you can get Sam through this. I can't stand to lose her, please, please God…..help Sam. Amen._

Freddie was surprised to feel water coming down his cheeks, and tasted the bitter saltiness of his tears. Who would have thought that aggressive, mean, sneaky Samantha Puckett would make him cry? He vowed never to let her do that again in 3rd grade after he cried when she stole his lunch and pushed him down the slide. He smiled in spite of himself and the grave situation at the memory. He would let her push him down anytime just to have her back with him. He was awakened from his memories when he heard the squeaking of shoes on linoleum. He tapped Carly awake and they stood to meet the doctor walking their way. They looked expectantly at him and held their breath in anticipation for what he had to say. His eyes darted between the two teens. He cleared his throat and said

* * *

**Aren't I just awful?**

**Keep reading my lovelies!**

**Review!**

**"Your mum rates me"**

**^^stole from Natalie Tran (communitychannel on youtbe--she's hilarious)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm back again! Updating quickly this time! I spent most of the day writing it. Sorry, it's not longer...it looked longer when I typed it up in word...2 pages! Thanks to anyone who reviewed or favorited or alerted! Alrighty, I'll let you get to reading now.**

**Disclaimer: Blah Blah Blah same old, same old**He cleared his throat and said,

* * *

"You're the friends of Samantha?"

Freddie and Carly nodded. Dr. Stone looked at them with a look of pain flashing in his bottle green eyes.

"Samantha…" He stopped, choosing his words carefully. "Has passed on. Her heart gave out during the surgery..." His words trailed off as he looked down at the two teenagers.

They stared back up at him with glassy eyes, wet with tears. The girl wrapped her arms around the boy and buried her head in his neck. The boy however simply looked straight into Dr. Stone's eyes with a quiet strength trying to cover despair lying within. He eventually had to look away from the boy's stony face as it was too much to bear.

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

He knew nothing he could say would console them. They had just lost one of their best friends. He turned and walked back down the long dreary hallway, leaving the iCarly team with their grief. The two stood there staring after him as if they could somehow will him to come back and tell them that Sam had survived, and this was some sort of sick joke. But he didn't turn around and no matter how hard they wanted to, they couldn't bring Sam back.

* * *

The next few days passed slowly in a dark haze for Freddie. He rose one day with a strange sense of foreboding. Then he remembered it was the day of Sam's wake. (Viewing) He showered, dressed in all black, and drove to the funeral home without being aware of what he was doing. He was surprised to see Sam's mother and father standing in line greeting the mourners. He hadn't seen Mr. Puckett since before the divorce. It seemed him and Mrs. Puckett had settled their differences in respect for their daughter's death. It was ironic that only a death could bring the two feuding parents together. Freddie looked around the funeral room and the people milling about it. Many whom Freddie recognized from school, but many he did not. Judging on their tattoos and even an ankle bracelet on one guy, Freddie figured this was Sam's family. They wandered around the room offering condolences and being comforted by others. Freddie looked up at the slideshow playing on the screen in the lobby of the funeral home. He had been asked by the Pucketts to recreate a memorial slide show in memory of Sam. It was tough to do, but it brought back fond memories of Sam. He watched pictures of himself, Carly, Sam, and her family fade in and out in time the funeral hymn "On Eagle's Wings". He turned away from the people crying around him and walked towards the viewing room. Her oak casket was covered in dozens of blood red roses. He looked down at Sam's peaceful face. It looked like her was simply in a deep sleep with her eyes closed gently and hands folded with a rosary held between her hands. He looked at her face, no longer bright and shining with the liveliness that made Sam, Sam. Her long blonde hair wasn't bouncing like it normally did as she walked. Her mouth was slack, no longer spewing out insults and jokes that made Freddie's head spin. It was so wrong. Sam wasn't meant to be contained, especially not in a casket. She was like a wild horse or a rushing river, untamed, pure, forceful, and beautiful. Tears leaked out of Freddie's eyes and dripped onto his hands clenched on the edge of the coffin. The vision of Sam's beautiful face blurred as more tears came. He wiped them from his eyes and backed away from the coffin. He couldn't bear to look at her anymore.

_This was my entire fault! If only I had been honest with her, she'd still be here today. It's my fault Sam's dead….holy hell, she's dead, she's dead, she's dead. This can't be happening…_

Guilt and pain rushed over Freddie, giving him a pounding headache. He looked wildly around the room. People sobbing all around…because of him, it felt. He couldn't stand to be in this room anymore. The walls seemed to be closing in on him. He offered his condolences to Mr. and Mrs. Puckett then drove quickly home, barely watching the room or obeying the speed limit. It was a wonder he didn't get himself killed.

* * *

Freddie ran up the stairs to his apartment and prayed his mother wasn't home. Luckily she wasn't. He entered his room, sat down at his desk and opened his drawers, searching for something.

He slowly pulled out his army knife and opened it, filing through all the extra devices looking for the sharp blade. Closing his eyes, he drew the knife down his wrist and arm, cutting it open. He drew breathe in sharply feeling the pain slice through his skin. A strange sense of relief washed over him. Cutting let Freddie release all the pent up emotions within him. The pain felt terribly good. He looked down at the trail of dark red blood seeping down his arm. His eyes wandered to the light scars further up his arm, painful reminders of his past. He traced over them with his finger, thinking. He had only resorted to cutting a few times before all at times of great sorrow. His parents' bitter divorce, his father's death, and now Sam's. A surge of sadness and anger surged within Freddie thinking about Sam. He grabbed the knife again and cut away at his flesh even more. Pain searing through him, as though his heart would claw its way out of his chest, but he couldn't stop. Only when the blood splattered onto the wood of his desk did he stop. Pain throbbed in his bloodied wrist and forearm, but it was nothing compared to the intense pain Freddie felt in his heart.

* * *

**Stay tuned for the next chapter and please keep reviewing!**

**xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note Time!**

**Thank you all SOOOO much for previous reviews! I hope this last chapter wraps everything up. I just really wanted to finally finish a story, sorry if it's not what you expected/wanted/craved. I need to plant some more carrots for the plot bunnies..they don't seem to like me much lately. **

**I hope you enjoyed this story! It was great to get so much positive feedback for my 1st story. Keep watch, I should be writing again soon [I hope...please send some plot bunnies my way God!] **

**And now without further a do, the last chapter of iAm Broken!**

**P.S. sorry it's short! It looks longer in word! Le sigh........  
**

**

* * *

  
**

The blade slipped from Freddie's hand and bounced onto the wooden floor of his bedroom. He couldn't take it anymore. The pain, the terrible memories haunted his dreams every single night. He thought God must be punishing him for Sam's death. He rocked back and forth cradling his injured arm, mumbling softly.

"_Sam…if you can hear me, please, just know…I'm so sorry. Please forgive me…I'm sorry I never told you…"_

His voice broke.

"_I love you." _

The words were barely audible as Freddie's grief overcame him, lowering his voice to barely a whisper.

"_I love you too, Freddie._" A voice spoke out, echoing off the walls of Freddie's empty room.

How could that be? Freddie thought he was alone. He looked around the room wildly, searching for the source of the noise when saw the most unbelievable thing.

Sam?

It was seemingly impossible, yet there she was as clear as day, only something was different. She seemed to be glowing, but not any kind of earthly glowing. It seemed to come from within her very soul. It was blinding, but Freddie couldn't look away. She also was pure and whole. None of her previous injuries showed on her ghostly body. She was more beautiful than anything he had ever seen on the face of this earth. The white robe she wore floated and swirled around her despite the lack of wind. Freddie rose as she glided over to meet him. He was struck speechless at the sight of his previously thought dead best friend in his room. As though reading his mind Sam spoke:

"_I'm not of this world anymore Freddie, I've passed on._" She said with a sad smile.

He lowered his head in sadness.

"_Please don't be sad Benson! I'm happy now, finally in a better place. It's wonderful here. Nothing can hurt me now. And there's lots of ham here._" Ghostly Sam winked and lightly punched Freddie on the arm.

He smiled despite himself and looked up into Sam's bright blue eyes. She smiled back at him. Suddenly she looked down and gently grabbed his forearm. She looked it over. Freddie winced in pain and tried to pull his arm back, but Sam kept a firm grip on it. She ran her fingers over the cut marks and trails of drying blood. Suddenly a cool sensation flowed through his arm. As though by magic or some kind of higher power the cuts on his arm healed themselves and the blood was washed away.

Abruptly a large pulsing golden light flooded the Benson apartment. Its warmth filled Freddie to the brim and a euphoric sensation washed over him. "_This must be what Heaven is like"_ he thought. Then, he realized this must be where Sam is headed. Again, as though she could read him mind she smiled and squeezed his hand. She turned towards the light which shone on her beautiful face.

"_I've got to leave Freddie, but promise me—promise! You won't hurt yourself again. AND never, ever forget me. You can talk to me whenever you need to. Promise me you'll do it often."_

She leaned up and placed a soft, sweet kiss upon Freddie's lips before turning and striding towards the magnificent light. She waved shyly before stepping into the circle of light.

"_I promise" _Freddie whispered into the dark.

He was left dumbstruck standing motionless in his bedroom. When he finally come to Freddie made a vow to always remember his feisty blonde friend and to live each day to its fullest, live with no regrets, and remember that life is short and there is no time to waste. He lived every day of his life for Sam Puckett. Life went on for Freddie. He learned to be happy and live again, just like Sam would have wanted. He visits her grave often to sit and talk with her, never forgetting his first true love.

* * *

**A/N: FIN!**

**Alrighty, I'm done with this story finally. I don't really like this chapter....it's okay I guess. Sorry if it's a let down :( **

**I just couldn't get out of writer's block and I just wanted to finish this one. Drama isn't my favorite genre of fanfiction :/**

**Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and alerting! And thanks a billion to those of you who have kept with this story til the end!**

**R&R lovelies :-***

**xox, **

**bwayaddict  
**


End file.
